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2004-05-07 - 4:33 p.m. i'm procrastinating. wishing i had some food and trying not to be scared. it's a tall order that used to come easily. people from my past people from my past. they're always out there; nothing ever stops. i am trying to learn the slippery art of forgiveness. today is one day free from obsessive anger and rage, i don't know what the difference is. i don't even know if it's a good thing--don't i have the right to be mad at people who have treated me like shit? but for today, at least, i can let it go. i missed two thunderstorms. i was elsewhere. i was woken up at 4 am by a fire alarm, i realized that it's only 45 minutes earlier than i'll have to wake up all summer, i wanted to die. but not really. can i do this? i guess i'll find out. i guess i'll make it through or i'll fucking die. what else is there, right?
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