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2004-01-27 - 10:08 p.m. today in poetry class, this guy who i've never seen before raised his hand and spoke in the most guttural, draining voice i've ever heard. before he said what he had to say, he apologized, "my voice is weird lately. i'm waiting on getting some teeth replaced," and the way he said it made it sound like his teeth had been taken from him in some huge tragedy, but also like he was resigned to these things happen. in his voice, which was almost unbearable to listen to, he said amazing things, leaving even our teacher (a pierced fag who i'd like to make out with, i think) speechless. after he was finished talking, i stared into his ear. there was a layer of gray crust, and it was disgusting, but i just couldn't stop staring. i almost wrote a poem about that guy, later, in the computer lab, but something was stopping me. then i realized he was sitting right next to me! god, that would have been so embarrassing. last night i realized: as i get older, my capacity to do scary things is going way down. and that scares me more than anything.
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