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2003-08-07 - 9:09 p.m. crouching in the YA section of the brooklyn public library i am wondering why i am still reading books written for 12-year-olds when i'm old enough to sit in a bar and hold a fulltime job; i am wondering if anything ever really changes or had the potential to. i hear a cop explain to a bunch of kids, "when you're outside, you can behave however ya wanna. but here in the library, you have to behave like a person. a real person. you can fake it, if you want". one day i will have no breasts and feel comfortable in my body again. one day i will feel comfortable in my life as well. riding squeaky mcbike (i just made up that name right now) back home i sweat and sweat and the books dig into my back and yeah, i remember this song. i know it really well.
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