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2003-07-24 - 12:24 p.m. OFFICIALLY SICK OF: work, work, feeling let down by nearly everyone in my life, passive-aggressive drama, more work, insecurity, yuppies. so my dad got married last week and lately i'm feeling like i never want to go back to long island again. my sister says my dad's wife is turning our formerly chaotic house into a "wal-mart hellhole". the answering machine message (which used to be my new york accented dad growling, "at da beep, speak ya piece") has been replaced with a "normal" one. my dad loved that message, i remember. he was so proud of it, and i remember calling his friends, and saying, "if ya ever sad, call my house and listen to the answering machine!" and now it's gone. i haven't heard it yet, but my sister told me, and i am super sad. sitting at my desk feeling heartbroken about it. i have six days left at this god-forsaken job. my girlfriend, who is generally the only person who calls or emails me [not to discount the few people who do call or email on occasion--jill, shannon, sue--it really does mean a lot to me], has left to go to canada today, for a week or so. i was egg-cited to put together my zine this weekend and now i'm not really sure if i have anything that i need to really say. that really needs to be said. fresh fruit and bicycles. i had a dream last night that i found every pair of scissors that i had lost. last night i thought the cat had vomited in my bed and was disgusted but too tired to do anything besides curl up in a ball and pray that i didn't touch it. this morning i woke up to discover it was just a teabag. i found a pizza crust in my bed the other day, too. i like these little food surprises. i think i have them because i want to convince myself that i'll never lead a normal life. my horoscope once said, "the most dangerous life an aries can lead is a safe one". sarahbean once said, "my room is messy, but i'm afraid to clean it, because mess feels like home."
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