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2002-10-26 - 3:14 p.m. woke up from good dreams to realize that i slept 13 hours. i was sleep deprived, since eric & kastoory came over. we went to this fucking amazing indian restaurant where literally every inch of the ceiling and walls was covered in christmas lights & sparkly psychadelic paper. and it was seriously the best food i've ever had, i think. then we all drank forties and talked about LIFE in GENERAL. kastoory cut my hair & eric's too. mine is a little too short and i kind of look like a marine, but in a few weeks it will be amazing, i know. on the subway, kastoory said, "we'll never really be happy anywhere" and it made me sad with the truth of it. and i carried the weight of that sentence with me all day, but i went to critical mass yesterday and it changed my mind a little bit. five hundred freaks on bicycles, we went from 14th street to 51st and then back down to canal. we went to places i've never really been before, like the upper east side and times square. i didn't realize before how in times square, the giant tv screens everywhere will sometimes get really bright and it seems almost like the sun. i looked to my right and literally 300 tourist faces were lit up and i realized how scary it was. about half of them clapped for us and took pictures. even people standing in front of fancy hotels, looking like princesses (literally), were smiling and taking pictures. somebody got hit by an suv, a person threw a comb at me and screamed, "WALK! WALK!" and i felt like it's my city. even though i didn't know anyone except for mary and joaquin, i wanted to be everyone. last year in philly i got dressed up, i was surrounded by people who loved me, and it was fun, but it just wasn't the same thing. i was thrilled to be a part of this ride & this city, even when my legs are screaming stop stop stop. a guy wearing a batman suit with blinking red lights took a picture: a girl wearing angelwings riding next to a guy with black wings, joined together by a skull. they weren't even there together, they just happened to be riding side by side.
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